DO IT!!~! I WILL TELL YOU IN GREAT DETAIL WHY MY SMILE IS SOOOO MUCH BIGGER THAN IT WAS BEFORE I WENT TO THE FRASER VALLEY REC ON 3/22/13…little did I know when I woke up this morning that I would have a VERY good looking man mere inches from what I consider the hottest spot in town, only touched by me and my doctor since 2007 and that the man would be fastening the waist strap of a rock climbing harness on me, while I held the edge of my bathing suit top up for him! God knows I have the control of a saint as I somehow refrained from pushing his head down while he was bent over there and I want to make sure you all know that I did not blush or was not embarrassed one bit at having this extremely handsome and muscular young man looking at me in my swim suit!!~! I have lost 76 pounds since July 1st 2012, when I began going to the fraser valley rec to do rehab in the pool. the fraser valley rec has given me more than one grant to recover from an assault committed on me by a mentally disabled man, that occurred on 4/16/11 and ruined a $22,000 spinal fusion surgery I was almost completely recovered from and which caused me to be bedridden. I became obese due to the injuries and the inability to do any kind of exercise. I am EXTREMELY proud of my body, I have worked very hard to reverse the obesity, I am on oxygen and have a number of other health issues that the obesity made worse and were good examples of the obstacles people with disabilities have to face when trying to lose weight, including a bout of clinical depression, which i literally forced myself to work through, as not even a severe bout of depression is acceptable as an excuse to stop me from doing something i have set my mind to do.i have an intense will,almost severe, it’s something rarely seen, and i often wonder at the things i see others let control them, and at my ability to quit them easily,how sad i feel for those with a weak mind… even though I have lost 76 actual pounds and have reduced my waist measurement from 55 to the 39 inches I am currently at, I still view myself as large and in charge anyone who knows me-knows I am into bondage and the harness alone was exciting to put on in front of all watching… when tim stabbe, the fraser valley rec center manager asked me if I wanted to attempt climbing the rock climbing wall-I hesitated for a second as I didn’t think the harness would fit, as I used to be huge and my self image still sometimes is of me at 288 pounds, but I have been wanting to try on one of these harnesses for completely different reasons, have actually tried to make one, to possibly ease my step impact when I jog on my treadmill- so I say yes and proceed to try the harness on, tim is trying to tell me how to put it on- but like I said, I have been trying to make one of these, I already knew how it would be worn and stepped right into it and only needed the waist strap put through the buckle as it had come loose, so I actually get this thing on and it loops around each leg and lifts towards hips, i like it! i grab the harness by the loop the rope attaches to and give it a nice jerk upwards to feel where the rope will pull and it feels like I am wearing either my chaps or a garter belt…quite nicely, in fact! and the thoughts about a man bent over attending to my waist strap are thoroughly enjoyed, i make comments on it and when buckle is finally snugged up,tim changes focus to learning the commands. you need to make sure the person has steady tension on the line,that they are on belay- that they got ya so you won’t jerk if you slip and the rope is loose- they must affirm they are paying attention and you say ‘climbing’ and then you do it! I have been training my fingers when I swim, in anticipation of exactly this scenario, I have belayed before even -so I go right over and climb the wall like I done it before and I must admit that once I got my feet on the grips, it was much easier than I thought it would be, as it seems to be with most things i try and I went darn near halfway up the thing before I stopped! I can only imagine what people see in me when I do yet another thing I would have bet money against me ever being able to do just one year ago. i don’t know what look you see on my face, but i am astounded at every single thing i find i am able to do now! sheer joy of realizing i can skip again and leap and strut and even do it gangham style, whipping with my oxygen hose… all these things i could not do coming back gives me great joy, whether we are talking about how i don’t have that chicken jerk when i walk, or that i go down the slide now after my swim or slide between the two columns at the pool every day now, it has gotten to be fun finding new things i am able to do now, and i am starting to realize i am not fat anymore! recovery from the assault that changed my life so drastically is really happening and i can hardly wait to try the next new thing! so anyone got any dares for me~you just let me know what the dare is and i will assess whether it is safe to try yet and if it is not time yet, i will tell you when it will be, as i have done when people ask if i will do the cube pit again, i set it to be conquered when i am at 200 pounds, i got stuck in it November 24th 2012 and i weighed 258.8 pounds then, i am currently 212 pounds and realistically foresee myself attempting the cube pit sometime in april 2013 so go ahead, ask me, what i did today… you might be surprised at the answer or wonder at how happy i am to be able to do all these things again, you will not understand how bad it was before i made the choice to turn my life around, i thought i was gonna die fat just in june of last year… i am recovering not only from physical obstacles but mental ones as well–a man abusing me 20+ years ago is what messed my back up so badly that it required a fusion surgery, and the man that assaulted me may have beat me too- but i am recovering from the mental stress these awful injuries caused as well- so go ahead and ask what i did today, you never know what you will hear, neither do I!!! don’t get mad if i say something that shocks you, we sadists love this, do be aware i am filled with joy at being able to skip again, and am prone to skip at most any time, purse, oxygen bottle and all…i consider my self a succubus, as many tell me i suck the life from a room-that is just me living and breathing and loving every minute of it, a leader of one and follower of none, i am mentally master of most so don’t get mad if i boast, i am recovering from everything and everyone, in every way, every day, i am increasing my mental and physical capabilities, i work hard at it and i am learning moderation, i CAN control what goes IN my mouth, i still however cannot control what comes OUT of it- i am working on that…i would just love to find a person willing to play a few games of chess or pinball, i am open to suggestions and love a good challenge. i have an iron will and view being obsessive/compulsive as a gift, kinda like crazy with benefits! every single day and sunset i get is gift from god and a testament to the strength of my commitment to myself to overcome anything and everything negative in my life. doing this makes me smile so brightly i cannot control it even if i wanted to… i am a bona fide original one of a kind beautiful being and it is not a race to the end i am on, it’s a walk through an extraordinary life! -i am not competing against you, i am competing against the world!!~! every single day i push myself to exceed my own expectations, and people stare at me in amazement-i KNOW what is making me smile, i, however, don’t know why some people burst out laughing when they see me, it happens a lot… i often wonder what sheep think. i am a woman, a lone wolf, a survivor, a weapon at times, i TRY to be mostly harmless, as i used to be a good example of a bad example… i think of things that might scare you but i really can do amazing things when i try! and i am not just TRYING amazing things, i am DOING amazing things… just watch! you never know~you might see some of them!

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