FINALLY~SOMETHING GUN RELATED THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU!!~!  it’s been coming for a while now and to tell you the truth, i’m quite relieved to have it done, and now i am surprised i put up with it as long as i did. you have no idea what i am talking about yet, do you?  hahaha   do you have any idea how good it feels to tell a bunch of snooty bigots to fuck themselves? well, I DO… as i did just that very thing today and it was worth losing something i dearly loved doing, to stand up on a principle of mine- give no quarter.               i refuse to bow any longer, it is no longer worth it to me to submit to the rules of those i really have no respect for, simply to use the community.pool. sacrificing something you really enjoy,on point of principle, is what is referred as “SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT” or as burning a bridge where there is a chasm… i cannot deal with the conflict of my tendency  to do as i please, and never let people force me to do anything, and the constant having to try and control what i think and say in the presence of a bunch of bigots, to me it is no longer an option.  i refuse to kiss any ass, not even to use the pool, it’;s gone on way to long as it is, to let it continue in this manner would be a betrayal to my self. and i just am tired of having to pretend i am nice or that any of these people’s opinions matter to me at all, to tell you the truth-YOU ARE ALL FOOD PRODUCTS TO ME… having to stifle my nature  for the benefit of people i don’t respect is distasteful to me and i am tired of doing what i feel is kissing ass any longer, i have a lot of mental issues i will admit- in fact i’m kinda messed up in the head due to the way people have treated me, and refuse to submit to the will of others, for any reason, it is just not my nature to do this-even at the loss of pool use    i have bi-polar syndrome big time- i tend to get manic when around people, the more people there are- the louder and ruder i tend to get.  you have no idea how much i have stopped myself from saying when around this bunch of tourists, cops and bigots-i have even symbolically put a piece of tape over my mouth as a physical reminder to try and control what i say about those i see…it really was a waste of time as knew sooner or later some dumb ass would be offended by me.     at one time they were watching me to the point i felt they were looking for a reason to bitch at me, in fact, i was SURE one time they had brought a black person up from Denver and sat him in the lobby of the rec center-just to see if i would say the word ‘nigger’… but no one seems  to give a damn about the crap i put up with, watching semi- naked children doing the splits on a filthy shower room floor, the SMELL of them, 5-6 year old boys watching me undress, cause their moms brought them in the womens’ shower, more cottage cheese asses in T-back underwear than i ever wanted to see without being able to tell the fat asses to put on some regular underwear- denying my right to comment on anything without the constant fear of reprisal, isn’t that against my right to free speech???  so here it is, mental me,was asked by one of the kids that are always staring at me,   a question, and the question was “guess what i caught today?”  if you have read any of my writings, you KNOW i have immune system problems, serious ones, and all it takes is contact with someone ill, to get me sick enough to end up in the hospital if i am not very careful.    i just got over a virus that was turning into pneumonia, and i got that picking up a prescription from Safeway, and coming in contact with a sick cashier.   i lost 30 days of my life, sick as hell from that, and i have written a previous article about a sick little girl at the pool named ‘May’ who came up and shook my hand a while back, so when the kid asked me if i knew what she caught today — i couldn’t help it, i said “HERPES?”.   that would be a dream compared to the last virus i caught…a cold sore ain’t shit compared to pneumonia… i was surprised when she said “:trout”  trout is the last thing i would assume a half naked 2 1/2- 3 foot tall child would have caught… and the funny thing is, the mother did not complain while at the pool, she called later, i was told, and complained about my reply…when i came the next day,not only was i bitched at about my offhanded remark,given after a really freaky day, and i was warned that i was in for a talking to by stubby, but to tell you the truth, that offhand reply was the furthest thing from my mind that day as i have a number of serious incidents that have happened in my life all hitting me at once, some being once again postponed, some involving significant persons from my past, and for us bi-polar people there are times when something trivial and from an unexpected direction can be the catalyst that brings down the facade of being sane, and your true nature erupts and before you know it , you have spit all of your bullshit out and you have destroyed any semblance of sanity, and sent out things you cannot un-say, and for once i must admit,it  feels great to go ahead tell all of those that would dare try and control my true nature and finally scream fuck you, and you and you and especially you and make sure to say it to someone not even involved in the incident, just someone you do not like in general, that you happen to see at this place…i think i got off on it, all i know is i blew a gasket over something somewhat trivial and fixable-provided i was willing to submit and do the little ‘i’m sorry’ dance for them…  and ya know what? these people are not my boss, i am not losing A  JOB, unless they are monitoring EVERY SINGLE THING EVERYONE WHO COMES IN THE BUILDING SAYS, THEY ARE DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME ALONE. FOR MY REPLIES, WHEN OTHERS ASK ME QUESTIONS.    i am sure there are some who would agree with me just as there are those who would not, it’s kind of like reading comments online, you are always gonna run into rude or offended comments about the weirdest things, and the replies i give those who don’t like my comments, quit reading them, freedom of speech is my right, and i’ll be DAMNED if i will let anyone violate my right  to write what i feel, or silence my opinions, it’s only a pool after all, not worth me losing my right to free speech to be there and you can bet i will be writing about MY RIGHTS a whole lot more…some days i am willing to shoot myself in the foot, even if that foot is in my own mouth…

Advertisements