GOOD MORNING TO MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS AND TO MY FLEET…WE ALL ARE GONNA HAVE A FINE TIME TODAY FIGURING OUT WHAT THE HELL WE ARE GOING TO DO ABOUT ME BEING HOMELESS.  I SIMPLY CANNOT IMPOSE MYSELF ON THE PEOPLE WHO WERE KIND ENOUGTH TO SHELTER ME OVER THE WEEKEND UNLESS IT IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION AND I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO AS I WAS ON SECTION 8 BEFORE THIS LAST ROUND OF VICTIMIZATION IN LAKE COUNTY, COLORADO.  THE MANAGEMENT THERE WAS HOSTILE AND WOULD NOT SIGN OFF ON MY SECTION 8 UNTIL I HAD VACATED THE UNIT AND LEFT BEFORE I FINISHED REMOVING MY THINGS.  I DO NOT KNOW IF THE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES IN THIS COUNTY HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE IN MY SITUATION BEFORE BUT WE ARE FIXING TO FIND OUT AND IF THERE ARE NO EMERGENCY PROTOCOLS SET UP-WE ARE FIXING TO SET SOME NEW PRECEDENTS.  I REALLY LIKE THE MENTAL HEALTH DOCTOR I HAVE AND SIMPLY DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO TRAIN ANOTHER DOCTOR AS TO MY PERKS AND QUIRKS… I ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH LAWYER COSTS OF THE GREEDY FORMER RENTAL AGENT -DIANE BRUSCO OF GRAND WEST INC.- I STRONGLY SUGGEST ANYONE ABOUT TO RENT  FROM THIS BUSINESS TO THINK VERY HARD,DO SOME RESEARCH ON THIS BUSINESS AND THE WAY THEY HAVE TREATED FORMER RENTERS-THAT WHOLE SITUATION WAS FUCKED UP FROM THE START-NOT ONLY DID THIS BITCH LIE ABOUT DOING THE CLEANING I DID IN THE UNIT- THIS BROAD WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO HAVE HER NAME STRICKEN FROM RECORD AS BEING THE DEFENDANT IN A RENTAL DEPOSIT CHARGE- BUT THIS WAS A VERY7 DELIBERATE ACT PUTTING ME NEXT TO A SUICIDAL ALCOHOLIC AND ASKING IF I COULD HELP IMPROVE HIS LIFE- I DID IMPROVE IT-TO THE POINT OF UTTER PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION AND 3 TIMES HE WAS TAKEN FROM MY CARE AND AS SOON AS THE MAN DIED-I WAS DISPOSED OF.  IT REALLY HURTS TO REALIZE PEOPLE REALLY TREAT OTHERS LIKE BOB WAS TREATED AND THAT I WAS NOT INTENDED TO IMPROVE HIS HEALTH AS I WAS DOING-HELL-I REVERSED STAGE 4 LIVER FAILURE IN THIS MAN 3 TIMES BUT WHEN THE EXHAUSTION FINALLY HIT ME-HE WOULD BE WISKED AWAY AND GIVEN HARD LIQUOR BY HIS BROTHER AND MY FORMER SECTION 8 WORKER, LINDA BLACKWELL.  HE DIED BECAUSE OF GREED- FUCKING PAPER…THE MAN HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO GET THE BEST OF CARE BUT THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF HIS FINANCES ONLY HAD ONE THING ON THEIR MIND- TO SHOVE ENOUGH BOOZE INTO THAT TRAILER SO THAT HE WOULD DRINK HIMSELF TO DEATH WHILE SITTING IN HIS OWN FILTH,UNABLE TO WALK BECAUSE OF EXTREME EDEMA.  I REVERSED THE EDEMA TWICE AND WHEN BOB DIED-HIS FEET WERE BEAUTIFUL,BETTER LOOKING THAN MY CALLOUSED STOMPERS.   HE DID NOT DIE ON A PISS SOAKED COUCH-AS I SAW HE WAS SITTING IN WHEN I MET HIM, BUT I HAD THE GUY WEARING DIAPERS AND NOT WANTING TO BE DIRTY, I EVEN HAD THE GUY CLEANING HIS TOILET WHEN ACCIDENTS HAPPENED-HIS LAST YEAR WAS PROBABLY THE BEST OF HIS LIFE BECAUSE OF ME,AT LEAST I FEEL HE REALLY LIKED ME, HE ONLY LET ME CARE FOR HIM AND FOUGHT ME THE WHOLE WHILE-BUT AT LEAST HE DID NOT SIT ALONE FOR ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR-WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT MY LIFE-WHICH IS SPENT IN ISOLATION 99.9 PERCENT OF THE TIME.   I DID NOT CHARGE THE PEOPLE FOR TAKING CARE OF BOB- THE RICH FUCKERS WERE TOO CHEAP TO EVEN BUY A CARPET CLEANER, SO I BOUGHT ONE FOR THEM.  YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK FOR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE AND I STAND BY THAT STATEMENT.  HELPING OTHERS IS WHAT SEPARATES US FROM THE REST OF THE CREATURES- SO DOES INTENTIONAL NEGLECT…  TAKING CARE OF BOB CHANGED ME, IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER LOVED DOING.  AT LEAST I GOT TO KNOW WHAT A MOTHER FEELS FINALLY- I STOOD UP TO BOB’S BROTHER SEVERAL TIMES MORE THAN WILLING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR GIVING HIM SO LITTLE AND TRYING TO RUN OFF THE ONLY PERSON WILLING TO DEAL WITH THE ORNERY ALCOHOLIC-BOTH TIMES RANDY GANT BACKED OFF AS I WAS WILLING TO PROTECT BOB WITH MY LIFE-SOMETHING I HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE- THE FEELING OF NEEDING TO PROTECT SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF.  I HAVE HELPED MANY PEOPLE OVER MY YEARS IN COLORADO, AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH- THE FUCKING ALCOHOIC WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO I FEEL REALLY APPRECIATED MY HELP-IT WAS AN HONOR TO DO THE THINGS I DID AND I THINK OF THEM CONSTANTLY-I WAS EVICTED THE DAY BOB DIED.  THIS TIME WHEN I AM ASKING MENTAL HEALTH TO HELP ME FIND SOMEPLACE TO LIVE-I HOPE I DO NOT GET USED LIKE DIANE BRUSCO AND LINDA BLACKWELL AND RANDY GANT USED ME, I JUST NEED TO BE LEFT ALONE TO HEAL FROM THESE HORRIBLE INCIDENTS THATI HAVE SUFFERED.  I FEEL I DID A WONDERFUL JOB OF HOLDING MYSELF TOGETHER THESE LAST FEW MONTHS- I DID NOT FREAK OUT OR HURT ANYONE AT ALL, I AM ALWAYS GOING TO BE BIPOLAL AND A MANIC PERSON AND AM SURE EVENTUALLY THE OLD ME WILL RESURFACE, GIVEN TIME TO HEAL THESE MENTAL WOUNDS, BUT RIGHT NOW -I AM THE ONE IN NEED OF HELP AND WE ARE FIXING TO SEE IF I AM GOING TO GET A WARM RECEPTION OR A COLD SHOULDER.  YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH MY MIND SITTING IS A STRANGE ROOM ON A CHAIR IN FRONT OF A WINDOW WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE SOMETHING OTHER THAN A BRICK WALL, AND I CONSTANTLY FOUGHT TO CONTROL THE SPASMS IN MY HANDS THAT APPEAR  WHEN I AM STRESSED. JUST THE FACT I WAS AROUND HUMAN BEINGS FOR 3 DAYS IS A MILESTONE FOR ME.   I HAVE BEEN SO ABUSED LIVING IN ISOLATION HAS BEEN MY ONLY FORM OF SELF PROTECTION AND AS THEY SAY – WHEN YOUR QUARRY GOES TO GROUND- LEAVE NO GROUND TO GO TO’ IS WHAT HAS OCCURED AND I AM DOING MY BEST TO MASK MY TICKS AND TREMENS.  YES-I AM TAKING MY MEDICATIONS-QUIT FUCKING ASKING THIS PLEASE, ALL OF YOU-IT IS KIND OF PISSING ME OFF THAT YOU PEOPLE THINK I AM TOO DUMB TO MANAGE MY MEDICATIONS-EVEN WHILE IN A HOMELESS STATE.  I HAVE QUIT EVERY HARMFUL THING IN MY LIFE- DONE THINGS THAT NO ONE I HAVE EVER MET HAS BEEN ABLE TO OVERCOME, QUIT ADDICTIONS THAT EVEN THE SANEST OF PEOPLE CANNOT DO WITHOUT SOME FORM OF SUPPORT-LOST WEIGHT WITH SEVERE HEALTH ISSUES JUST BY DECIDING TO DO IT.  YOU CAN READ SOME OF MY EARLIER ARTICLES IF YOU WANT TO KNOW JUST HOW HARD I HAVE TRIED TO IMPROVE MY HEALTH-YOU SHOULD DEVELOP SOME SERIOUS  RESPECT FOR ME JUST BECAUSE I AM ABLE TO DO THESE THINGS WITH NO HELP OR BY BEING FORCED TO BY POLICE OR THE COURTS.  LEAD BY EXAMPLE-THE BEST LESSON MY FATHER HAS TAUGHT ME.   WHO IS THE CRAZY ONE HERE? THE PERSON WITH THE STRENGTH OF CHARACTER TO DO WHAT NEEDS DONE OR THE IDOIT FOUND LAYING ON A PERSON’S KITCHEN FLOOR AFTER CRAWLING IN THROUGH THE DOGGY DOOR AND CLAIMING IT WAS THE CHANTIX THAT MADE HIM DO IT???  I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD MY MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDERS THAT I WILL LET YOU KNOW IF I NEED HELP-AND THEY ARE FIXING TO HAVE THIS STRONGWILLED INDIVIDUAL ON THEIR DOORSTEP IN A SSHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  I MAY HAVE TO INSIST ON HELP-BUT ISN’T THAT WHAT MENTAL HEALTH IS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR?   I WENT YEARS WI5THOUT WEEKLY COUNSELING -I DID NOT NEED HELP, BUT NOW I AM ALL ALONE IN A PLACE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND ONLY ONE SET OF PEOPLE THAT I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR IMPOSING UPON.   I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO BUT ASK FOR HELP AT THIS POINT, I GUESS WE WILL SEE HOW MIND SPRINGS MENTAL HEALTH REACTS-HOPE THEY DON’T WIG OUT…HAHAHAHA I AM FIXING TO REFUSE BEING IGNORED.   THERAPUTIC WRITING BY KARIN WAPE 1-4-16

Advertisements