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ANOTHER GREAT DAY AHEAD LISTNING TO THE SOUND OF WIND FROM A FAN, THE GOD AWFUL HISSING SOUND CURRENTLY ASSAULTING ME AND MY DADS TV AT 80 DAMN DECIBELS…IF IT WAS NOT SO FRIGGIN PITIFUL TO ENDURE, I WOULD BE CRYING.  THE IPAD WILL NO LINGER PLAY SOUND CORRECTLY THRU HEADPHONES SO I CANNOT WATCH MOST MOVIES EVEN IF THE JERKS STILL HACKING ME LET ME PLAY ONE.  I GAVE MY COUSINS KIDS A PC TO PLAY AROUND WITH AND AM WAITING FOR THEM TO FIND WHERE THE KIDS LEFT THE THING SO I CAN TRY TO PLUG MY IPAD INTO THE PC AND GET SUPPORT TO HELP ME SEE IF RELOADING THE AUDIO DRIVERS WILL FIX THE PORT OR JUST WATCH MOVIES ON THE OLD PC THAT USED TO HAVE WORKING AUDIO…AT LEAST I THINK IT WAS WORKING AS IT WAS SAMPLING AIDIOMAT 22050 Hz and 44100 Hz CAPTURING THE NOISE I AM NEING TORTURED WITH.  JUST ANOTHER FOR OF DENIAL OF SERVICE… I NEVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED HAVING TO LISTEN TO SOMEONE ELSES TV AT 80 DECIBELS.  AND THE SAME MOVIES OVER AND OVER AND OVER.  I AM GETTING DEPRESSED SITTINGHERE THE WHOLE DAY BY MYSELF WHILE DAD WATCHES THE SAME MOVIES OVER AND OVER WITH THE VOLUME AT FULL BLAST AS WELL AS DEAL WITH THE AUDIO TORTURE I AM  URRENTLY LISTENING TO.   MY EDEMA IS OBVIOUSLY A HEALTH ISSUE AS ME TROTTING FIVE MILES A DAY HAS NOT HAD ANY POSITIVE RESULTS AT ALL, IN FACT MY WEIGHT IS SOME DAYS ADDING FIVE POUNDS BETWEEN MORNING AND NOON AND THAT IS WITHOUT HAVING A SINGLE BITE OF FOOD OR ANYTHING TO DRINK.   I HAD TO DO THE EXPERIMENTS TO DEDUCE THIS.  EVERY SINGLE HOUR ON THE HOUR I RUN  1/2 A MILE UNTIL 5 PM, AND MONITOR MY LIQUID AND FOOD INTAKES METICULOUSLY TO SEE IF MY WEIGHT ISSUE IS FROM BEING LAZY OR FROM SOMETHING ELSE.  I AM ON FIFTY MG OF A PRESCRIPTION WATER PILL SO I SOULD NOT BE HOLDING THIS MUCH WATER AROUND MY MIDDLE.  I AM DYING OF BOREDOM HERE ALWAYS UNDER WATCH IN MY DADS LIVING ROOM AND YOU CAN BET HE FINDS SOMTHING TO BITCH ABOUT EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I DO NOT WANTTO BE HERE AT ALL WITHOUT EVEN A ROOM OF MY OWN TO SLEEP IN OR ANYWHERE TO GET AWAY FROM THE REDICULOUS AMOUNT OF NOISE DADS TV MAKES BUT I AM STUCK TIL I FIND MYSELF ANOTHER RV AND YOU CAN BET YOUR A$$ I AM SAVING EVERY FRIGGIN CENT TO GET MYSLF ANOTHER MOBILE HOME OF MY OWN.  I AM WAITING TIL DAD HAS HIS EYE SURGERIES DONE BEFORE I TAKE A COLORADO BREAK, I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE FOR A WHILE AND GO SMOKE SOME REAL BUDS INSTEAD OF THE GOD AWFUL MEXICAN BRICK WEED GOING AROUND THAT SMELLS LIKE PERFUME. I AM SAVING FOR AN RV OR A TRUCK AND CAMPER OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES BUT I WILL USE SOME OF THAT CASH FOR A COLORADO VACATION,THIS YEAR WAS MY FIRST TIME MISSING THE TREES CHANGE IN 15 YEARS.  SO YES I AM DEPRESSED FOR  SEVERAL REASONS BUT I AM DEALING WITH THEM ALL BY MY SLF AS BEST AS I CAN. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

 

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REMEMBER THAT SAYING TO BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR?  NOW THAT KITTY IA HANGING OUT WITH ME AT NIGHTS, I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT THE CAT LIKES MY COMPANY AND HE IS CONSTANTLY JUMPING UP DOR FOOD AND SITTING ON DADDY, WELL THIS MORNING THE CAT JUMPED RIGHT BACK IN BED WHERE HE HAD SPENT THE NIGHT AND LET OUT ONE RANK ROTTEN EGGSMELLING FART THAT ACTUALLY GOT ME UP OUT OF BED…THE JOYS OF HAVING PETS.  NOW I GOT A FART SACK OF A CAT HANGING OUT WITH ME ALL THE TIME.  HE DONT BRUSH HIS TEETH AND HIS BREATH IS HORRIFIC AND I AM CONTANTLY TELLING THE CAT TO QUIT LICKING HIMSELF CAUSE HE IS GETTING THE FOUL SMELLING SPIT ON THE CAT FURR.  I PERFER HE KEEP HIS CAT MOUTH SHUT BECAUSE OF THE SMELL.  BUT THESE ARE THE GOLDEN DAYS AND I BEST REMEMBER WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE WITHOUT A CAT BEFORE I START WHINING.  LOVE THAT STINKER!

THINGS ARE CHANGING AS I BATTLE THIS HACKING THAT IS STILL AT ME FOUR YEARS DOWN THE ROAD…IT WAS 6-28-13 WHEN I OFFICALLY COUNT CATCHING THE HACKING AND TRIED TO GET DIFFERENT INTERNET WITH A MODEM BUT 7-23-13WAS WHEN I ACTUALLY CAUGHT A NEW USER BEING CREATED IN MY PCS.  THE VPN CONFIG IS DATED 7/23/13  AND THERE WERE A BUNCH OF ADVANCED FIREWALL RULES CREATED WITH THE POWERSHELL COMMAND PROMPT WINDOW ON 8/22/13.  YES, THE NOISE HAS BEEN GIVING ME A KIND OF BREAK, IN FACT I HAVE HAD MORE DAYS WITHOUT THE  OISE THIS YEAR THAN IN THE LAST THREE.  NOW I HAVE SOME ACCOUSTIC TILES TO TRY AND CREAT MYSELF SOME PLACE SAFE TO SLEEP WHERE THE NOISE CANNOT HURT ME WITH WHAT ALL KIND OF WAVES I AM BEING ASSAULTED WITH, I AM NOT SURE IF I AM BEING HIT WITH ONLY ONE KIND OF WAVE, I SUSPECT MICROWAVES AS WELL AS GAMMA.  I WILL JUST HAVE  TO EXPERIMENT WITH MY TILES TO SEE WHAT WORKS.   NEXT THING IS THE ABILITY TO USE HEADPHONES NO LONGER EXISTS FOR ME, MY IPAD WILL NOT PLAY AUDIO PROPERLY ANY MORE  YES I DID TRY SEVERAL TYPES OF HEADPHONES.   THIS AUDIO BEING MESSED WITH SHOWS UP REAL GOOD IN THE DIAGNOSTIC LOGS.  THIS WAS DONE SO I CANNOT WATCH ANYTHING ON MY IPAD WITH SOUND, I CAN STILL DO CLOSED CAPTIONING, BUT AS LOUD AS DAD PLAYS THE TV, I COULD NOT HEAR MUCH OF ANYTHING ANYWAYS, THIS IS JUST MORE OF DENIAL OF SERVICES I SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH.  GUESS I WILL HAVE TO BREAK OUT O E OF MY HACKED DEVICES TO WATCH MOVIES WITH.  ANYWAYS, BEING DENIED EVERYTHING OTHERS GET IS THE NORM FOR ME, I DID NOT GET ANYTHING BUT CRAP GROWING UP, CRAP FAMILY, CRAP FOSTERHOMES AND MORE CRAP FROM EVERY MAN I EVER MET, NOW I JUST GOT TO SIT HERE DEALING WITH MY HEATH ISSUES WITH NO RESOURCES AND MISSING WATCHING THE SEASONS CHANGE IN MY ROCKY MOUNTAINS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15 YEARS, AND DOING WITHOUT THE LEGAL WEED I HELP  VOTE IN.  AS SOON AS DAD GETS HISEYE SURGERIES DONE, I AM GOING FOR A SHORT VACATION TO COLORADO.  THAT IS IT, I AM TIRED OF BEING STUCK IN THIS TRAILER ALL DAY AND THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP IS GETTING AWAY FROM THIS DULL ACHING BOREDOM AND SMOKING SOME REALLY GOOD BUDS FOR A WEEK.  I AM SAVING MY MONEY FOR A TRIP, JUST NEED TO DECIDE IF I WANT TO RENT A VAN SO I CAN SLEEP IN IT OR WHAT, I MAY GET A MOTEL…OR I MAY START PAYMENTSON A NEW RV.  I AM THINKING OF WAYS I CAN GO WITH THIS, ANY OF MY FAMILY HAS ANY IDEAS FOR MY TRIPS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AS I AM OPEN TO IDEAS FOR MY TRIPS. OH AND I AM TROTTING FIVE + MILES A DAY ON NY TREADMILL TO KEEP UP WITH THE EDEMA.  I RUN A HALF A MILE EACH HOUR. TOLD YOU IT WAS A BORING LIFE…WRITING DONE BY KARIN WRAPE 10-17-17

YES, IT SEEMS  IT TAKES FIVE FULL MONTHS FOR A FERAL CAT TO ACCEPT A HUMAN INTO ITS CIRCLE.  I HAVE  HAD TO CHANGE PLACES FOR SLEEP A FEW TIMES BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN SOUND AND NOW I HAVE ME A LITTLE  CUSHION FORT TO PROTECT ME FROM THE MAIN BLAST OF TICKING NOISE I AM CURRENTLY BEING ASSAULTED WITH AND THE CAT SEEMS TO LIKE THE ARRAINGEMENT AS HE NOW HAS A PILLOW OF HIS OWN TO LAY ON RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND HE IS USING IT! HE IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE AND I LIKE IT A LOT, IT HAS BEEN MANY YEARS SINCE I DARED TO HOPE FOR HAVING PETS IN MY LIFE AND THAT IS BECAUSE HUMANS LIKE TO HARM THE THINGS I LOVE.  HOPEFULLY THE CAT WILL BE SAFE ENOUGH LIVING IN THIS NOISE BUT I CAN SEE THAT IT EFFECTS HIM NONE THE LESS.  I USED TO WATCH WILDLIFE VERY CLOSELY WHEN THE SOUND WOULD GET BAD SO I COULD KIND OF GET A DIRECTION AS TO WHERE THE SOUND WAS VOMING FROM, THE ANIMALS WOULD NOT COME NEAR MY RV TOWARDS THE END OF MY STAY IN COLORADO BECAUSE OF THE NOISE  COMING FROM SOMETHING PLACED IN THE RV LIKE THERE IS NOW A NOISE IN THE CAR THAT MATCHES WHATEVER THE SOUND IS IN DADS TRAILER.  I JUST GOT OVER ANOTHER BRITAUL SOUND ASSAULT THAT LEFT ME WITH A TWO DAY MIGRAINE.  THE SOUND QUIT FOR A SHORT WHILE BUT IT IS BACK AND TICKING AWAY AS I TYPE THIS ON A RAINY TEXAS MORNING BUT THE CAT SEEMS TO BE PRETTY HAPPY SLEEPING NEXT TO ME AND IT IS REALLY NOT THAT BAD RIGHT NOW SO I CAN IGNORE IT EASIER, I CAN IMAGINE IT WILL START  UP BEING SUPER FAST AND LOUD BEFORE TOO LONG THOUGH.  I AM FINSLLY STARTING TO SHOW A BACKWARD STEP IN THE EDEMA BUT IT HAS BEEN BECAUSE I AM NOT EATING OR DRINKING AT ALL DURING THE DAY AND DOING THREE MILES A DAY ON THE TREADMILL I GOT MYSELF, I TROT FOUR TIMES A DAY, BESIDES THE SELF IMPOSED FASTING, ONE MILE FIRST RATTLE OUT OF THE BOX THEN 3/4 A MILE AT NOON, ANOTHER 3/4 MILE AT 3 PM AND THEN A HALF MILE AT SIX PM… THAT IS A PRETTY TIGHT SCHEDULE TO KEEP JUST TO STOP THE EDEMA FROM GETTING ANY WORSE BUT IT IS WHAT HAS TO BE DONE SO I DO IT WHETHER I HAVE A MIGRAINE OR NOT…THAT IS WHAT SEPARATES THE JUNK FROM THE JEWELS.  THE ABILITY TO SET A DIFFICULT PATH FOR YOURSELF THEN TO STICK WITH IT DAY AFTER DAY WHATEVER THE WEATHER OR ISSUES THAT MAY COME UP.  I AM A SLAVEDRIVER WHEN IT COMES TO DOING WHAT I MUST TO REGAIN CONTROL OF MY HEALTH AFTER ALL I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR GETTING RID OF OVER 100 POUNDS.  IT WAS SO BAD THAT I COULD NOT GET INTO ANY OF MY DRESSES DUE TO THE EDEMA THAT WAS PUTTING ON SOMETIMES 5 POUNDS OF WATER ON MY MIDSECTION BEFORE NOON, I HAD TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE I  COULD NOT DO ANYTHING.  FOR SOMEONE WITH A MOUTH THAT NEVER SEEMS TO SHUT UP THAT IS A PRETTY TALL ORDER BUT I AM REAL GOOD IT SEEMS AT CONTROLLING WHAT GOES INTO MY MOUTH, WHAT COMES OUT OF IT HOWEVER STILL SEEMS TO SHOCK EVEN ME AT TIMES BUT A AM WORKING ON THAT AS BEST I CAN.  I MAY BE WATCHING MY WEIGHT BUT IT IS WATER BEING RETAINED, NOT FAT.  MY HANDS AND FEET ARE NOT COLLECTING ANY WATER AS OF NOW BUT MY CHEST HAS GOT 20 FULL POUNDS OF FLUID AROUND MY LUNGS AND ORGANS.  THIS IS A VERY UNCOMFORTABLE THING TO DEAL WITH WHEN COUPLED WITH INDICED DEPRESSION BUT I AM COPING AS BEST I CAN… I AM GETTING SOME OF THE THINGS BACK I HAVE HAD TO SELL OR JUST GIVE AWAY THAT I GOT AS TREATS OR TOUS AND YESTERDAY I GOT DADDY N ME A SMALL DEEP FRYER SO WE CAN ENJOY HOME MADE ONION RINGS AND DEEP FRIED MUSHROOMS! I HAD A REAL NICE DEEP FRYER, A PROFESSIONAL ONE I GAVE FIFTY BUCKS FOR, I REMEMBER IT CAUSE I GOT IT RIGHT BEFORE I GOT MY ICE CREAM MAKER…I USED TO MAKE THE BOMB ICE CREAMS!  LOTS OF FRESH FRUITS AND COCONUT WAS WHAT I LIKED  MAYBE DADDY AND I CAN DO THIS TOO SOON, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS UNLESS YOU ARE DEEPLY DEPRESSED, THEN ALL IT HOLDS IS DARK THINGS.   SPEAKING OF DEPRESSING THINGS, REMEMBER THE BUZZARD WITH THE BROKEN WING I TRIED TO HELP?  I THINK IT LIVED AS I SAW SOMEONE HAD THROWN OUT A BUNCH OF BREAD RIGHT WHERE IT WAS THE OTHER DAY… THERE WAS A DOG EATING SOME OF THE BREAD SO THAT IS HOW I KNOW IT WAS FOOD INSTEAD OF TRASH.  I STILL REMEMBER TOUCHING THE FEET OF THE BUZZARD, I KNOW THE WAY ITS FLESH FEELS FROM WHEN I GRABBED HOLD OF ITS CLAWS WHEN I THREW THE BLANKET OVER IT, IT REMINDED ME OF A GILA MONSTER LIZARD I ONCE OWNED, FELT EXACTLY LIKE THE SCALES OF THE CRITTER WHICH ARE KIND OF LIKE ROUND  SCALES, VERY SOFT WHICH WAS KIND OF SURPRIZING… I WILL NEVER FORGET HOLDING A GIANT BUZZARD BY THE FEET AS I GOT A GOOD TAP FROM ITS BEAK RIGHT AFTER I GRABBED THEM, IT DID NOT UNDERSTAND I WAS TRYING TO HELP SO I DO NOT RESENT THE CUT I GOT.  TODAY IS KIND OF NICE AND LAZY, YESTERDAY I COOKED MY FIRST ROAT THAT I CONSIDER AS GOOD, I ROASTED IT SLOWLY IN THE OVEN WRAPPED IN TINFOIL FROM 9 am TIL AFTER 3 pm AND COOKED CARROTS AND YELLOW POTATOES IN ANOTHER ALUMINUM PACKAGE SO I WOULD HAVE THE JUICE AND A WHILE BEFORE DINNER, I TOOK THE ROAST OUT OF THE TINFOIL AND DUMPED THE JUICE INTO AN OVEN PAN AND PUT THE CUT ROASTED POTATOES CUT SIDE DOWN IN THE JUICE TO SOAK IT UP, THEN MADE A GRAVY WITH A POUND OF SHROOMS AND A CAN OF BEEFY MUSHROOM CAMPBELLS SOUP AND THEN POURD THAT OVER THE SLOW ROASTED GOODIES…DADDY ATE ONE HE K OF A HUGE PLATE, I PUT FOUR HALVED TATERS AND A SMALL AMOUNT OF CARROTS ON HIS PLATE BESIDES A GOOD SIZED HUNK OF ROAST AND THE PLATE CAME BACK EMPTY, SO THERE IS YOUR REVIEW BY MY DADDY WHO WILL NOT EAT SOMETHING HE DOES NOT LIKE, I GUESS THE CARROTS WERE NOT BAD ENOUGH TO NOT EAT, I PERSONALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE PRETTY DARN SWEET, I ATE THE REST OF THE CARROTS AFTER DINNER WHEN PUTTING THE LEFTOVERS IN THE FRIDGE, THEY DID NOT STAND A CHANCE AS I LOVE SWEET CARROTS!  I AM FIXING TO GO GET A CERTAIN KIND OF BATTER FOR ONION RINGS THAT DADDY LIKES ALONG WITH SOME MILK AS HE JUST MADE ANOTHER BATCH OF DADDY  COOKIES SO I AM GOING TO  UT THIS OFF FOR NOW, THIS IS JUST PLAIN OLD WRITING TODAY-NO THERAPY NEEDED…AT LEAST I  CAN SAY ANOTHER OF THE THINGS I HAD TO LOSE TO LEAVE A BAD SITUATION ARE COMING BACK AND I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW JUST HOW MUCH DADDY LIKES HAVING A MINI DEEP FRYER TO EXPERIMENT WITH, GUESS I WILL FINISH WATCHING HUMAN CENTIPEDE…ONE CREEPY MOVIE.  EVEN FOR ME.

IF I COULD ONLY GET ACROSS HOW NICE SILENCE IS…AFTER YESTERDAYS BRUTAL ASSAULT THAT MADE THE CAT WIG OUT, IT IS ALL I CRAVE ANYMORE, SILENCE.    NO VIOLENT FAST TAPPING, NO TICKING SOUND AND NO PRESSURE AT ALL…YES, THE CAT FREAKED OUT YESTERDAY-IT WAS WHEN I WAS TRYING TO LOAD A MOVIE AND THE SOUND MADE A VERY STRANGE NOISE THAT HAD THE CAT SCARED SO BAD IT TWISTED AND SCRATCHED ME TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE THEN RAN AND SAT UNDER THE TV.  UNDER THE TV. DID YOU GET THAT? under the tv.  MY DAD PLAYS THE TV AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE SO HE CAN HEAR IT AND THAT IS WHERE THE CAT WENT WAS UNDER THE  OISIEST THING IN THE HOUSE TO TRY AND GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE, HE STAYED THERE TIL BEDTIME.  AT ABOUT THE TIME THE CAT WIGGED I DECIDED TO TRY ANDL LOAD ONE OF MY APPS PREVIOUSLY USED TO GET A DECIBEL READING AND I COULD ONLY LOAD ONE THAT WOULD WORK AND IT SHOWED SOMETHING VERY LOUD, TO THE TIPS OF THE SCALE AND TEN I NOTICED THE SOUND WAS TO BE SEEN ON THE LIGHTS OF DADS MODEM.   THE LIGHTS ON HIS MODEM WERE OCCILATING AT THE EXACT PATTERN OF THE NOISE.  I HAVE SEEN THIS IN THE PAST SEVERAL TIMES, AND USUALLY THE FLASHLIGHTS WILL DIM AT THE EXACT PATTERN OF THE SOUND.  IT WAS VERY NOTICEABLE WHEN I TURNED ON ONE OF THOSE MINI FANS WITH LIGHTS IN THE PLASTIC LITTLE BLADES AND THE LIGHTS ON THE FLOOPY PLASTIC TWIN WINGS OF THE FAN WOULD OCCILATE IN TIME TO THE SOUND I WAS CURRENTLY HEARING, I HAVE MADE RECORDINGS OF THIS AND I THINK I POSTED SOME OF THEM ONLINE…IPAD WILL NO LONGER RECORD ANY VIDEO AND EVEN THOUGH I AM PAYING FORL CLOUD STORAGE I CANNOT GET THINGS TO GO INTO THE CLOUD  AND OFF THE IPAD ENOUGH TO EVEN RECORD ANY VIDEO AT ALL, IF I WANT TO TAKE A PIC OF ANYTHING, I HAVE TO DELETE STUFF.   BACK TO THE SOUND AND IT SINGING IN TIME TO THE LIGHTS ON DADS MODEM, I POINTED IT OUT THAT THE SOUND WAS VISIBLE TO,SEE WHAT I HEAR ON THE MODEM LIGHTS TO DAD BUT HE DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS IS EVEN HAPPENNING SO POINTING THINGS OUT TO SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE YOU IS POINTLESS, I WILL TRY TO CAT H THIS HAPPENNING AGAIN AND RECORD IT WITH MY CAMERA, THEN USE THE CARD READER TO TRANSFER THE VIDEO TO THE IPAD FOR ONLINE UPLOADING. APPLE HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO HELP ME GET MY IPAD SOME FREE SPACE YET AND I HAVE CALLED THEM SEVERAL TIMES.  I CANNOT GET THE APPS TO RECORD EITHER, SOMETHING HAS CONTROL OF THE MICROPHONES AND NO MATTER WHAT I TRY I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ENABLE THE MICROPHONE FOR THESE APPS YET. THEY USED TO WORK REAL GOOD, NOW SOMEONE DOES NOT WANT ME USING THESE APPS AS THEY DISCLOSE THE DECIBEL LEVELS I AM DEALING WITH.  I AM TRYING TO PROVE THE SOUND OCCILATES TO OVER 100 DECIBELS AGAIN LIKE I HAVE ALREADY DONE IN THE CAR AND WHEN I DISCOVERED THE SOUND COMING FROM THE FLOOR VENT IN THE KITCHEN AT 100DECIBELS WITH THE AC UNIT OFF.  I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO TRY OUT NEW APPS FOR RECORDING DECIBEL LEVELS TIL I CAN GET ONE TO WORK.   AT TIMES I FEEL HOPELESS BECAUSE OF THIS SOUND AND THE WAY IT DISRUPTS THE ELECTRICAL SIGNALS IN MY BRAIN – THIS IS USUALLY THE SIGNAL I AM FIXING TO BE HIT WITHA TWO DAY MIGRAINE. RECOGNIZING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A CERTAIN SOUND IS IN THE AREA IS HALF THE BATTLE OF KEEPING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS UNDER CHECK.   I AM NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT THESE SOUNDS INDUCE THOUGHTS OF DESPAIR OR HORROR OF REALISING I AM GOING TO DIE FROM THE NOISE, IF I SAID THEY DO NOT I’D BE LYING.  YES I FEEL ALL MANNER OF DEPRESSION AND DARK THOUGHTS FROM THESE SOUNDS AND THE OTHER NIGHT IN PARTICUAL I NOTICED THE PATTERN HIT ME BEFORE THE MIGRAINE. ASK MY DAD IF HE SAW ME ACTING A BIT WORSE OR MORE DESPONDANT THAN USUAL AND HE WOULD TELL YOU I WAS SAYING SOME VERY DEPRESSING STUFF BUT THEN MIGRAINE HIT AND NO MORE SOUND FROM ME FOR TWO DAYS.  I COULD NOT DO ANYTHING BUT GET UP AND DO MY FOUR TREADMILL SESSIONS THEN GO BACK TO MY CORNER AND LAY ON MY SIDE MUCH LIKE THE DEAD WILD PIG I SAW ROADSIDE A FEW WEEKS BACK, WITH ITS  SWOLLEN MIDSECTION AND FOUR LEGS STICKING STRAIGHT OUT-THAT IS EXACTLY HOW THIS SWELLING OF MY MIDSECTION FEELS, LIKE I AM A BLOATED CARCASS WITH MY BELLY UP AND ALL FOUR LIMBS STICKING OUT FROM THE SWOLLEN GUT.  I WILL NOT HARM MYSELF, JUST THOUGHT FAMILY SHOULD BE AWARE THAT EVEN THOUGH I MAY HAVE THOUGHTS OF ENDING THIS SUFFERING THAT I HAVE MADE A VOW NEVER TO TAKE MY LIFE OVER THIS ISSUE, THERE MAY BE A TIME IN THE FUTURE WHEN MY HEALTH IS SO BAD I WILL  CHOOSE TO END MY PAIN BUT I AM NO WHERE CLOSE TO THAT TIME SO SUICIDE IS NOT A THING FOR ME TO CONSIDER.  I AM READING ABOUT MATERIALS THAT WOULD ABSORB THE MICROWAVES I BELIEVE TO BE THE SOURCE OF THE SOUND AND EVEN FOUND A PLUG IN DEVICE THAT IS A NOISE CANCELLING PLUG FOR YOUR SOCKETS TO OFFSET SOUNDS THROUGH WALLS OF NOISY NEIGHBORS CALLED ‘QLOUD’, IT IS ON YOUTUBE.COM WHEN YOU LOOK UP NOISY NEIGHBORS AND AM SERIOUSLY THINKING THAT IT IS WORTH THE FIFTY BUCKS TO TRY IT OUT AND THEN I SAW A NOISE MACHINE I PLAN TO TRY AND CONSTRUCT MYSELF WITH MY REMAINING CONTRUCTION FAN AND IT WORKS BY AIR RESTRICTION TO PRODUCE  WHITE NOISE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE THE NESTED COVER FOR THE FAN WHERE YOU CONTROL THE NOISE BY TURNING THE TOP COVER TO COVER UP OR UNCOVER HOLES TO PRODUCE DIFFERENT SOUNDS WITH ONE FAN, THE ONE I SAW IN PARTICULAR WAS CREATED BY DOHM, AND REALLY, IF I CANNOT MAKE THIS THING AFTER SEEING HOW IT WORKS I AM ONE LAME CHICK…I AM ALSO LOOKING INTO CARBON SOUND ABSORBING MATERIALS MICROWAVES ARE JUST ANOTHER TYPE OF SOUND OR LIGHT, THEY ARE ACTUALLY LISTED AS A FORM OF ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION THAT OPERATES ON CERTAIN FREQUENCIES AND FREQUENCIES ARE WHAT SOUND WAVES ARE MEASURED IN, SO I KIND OF CATEGORIZE THEM AS SOUND WAVES.  SO THE NEXT QUESTION IS WHAT RANGE OF OBSORBTION IS NEEDED? I CANNOT PINPOINT THE EXACT FREQUENCY SINCE MY APPS WILL NOT WORK BUT ALSO IN RESEARCHING SOUND FOUND THAT FOG IN THE HOUSE LIKE FROM A STEAMY SHOWER OR BOILING A PAN OF WATER, WILL DAMPEN SOUND WAVES.  I HAVE NOT GOTTEN SO DESPARATE AS TO LIVE IN A FRIGGING RAIN FOREST TO TRY AND QUELL THE NOISE…YET. JUST THE FACT THE SOUND HAS STOPPED TODAY IS ENOUGH TO GET MY MIND RIGHT FOR A DAY OR SO, I DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG SILENCE WILL PERSIST BUT EVEN A SHORT TIME IS BETTER THAN NOTHING, AT LEAST FOR THE POOR CAT.  I AM TAKING IT VERY EASY RIGHT NOW TRYING TO RECOVER FROM THIS LAST ASSAULT, BUT SINCE I AM FEELING GOOD ENOUGH TO WRITE, YOU KNOW AT THE VERY LEAST MY CAUSE IS NOT HOPELESS AND THAT IS ENOUGH FOR TODAY, KNOWING THIS IS NOT GOING TO GO ON DAY AFTER DAY WITHOUT A BREAK.  YESTERDAY AFTERNOON WHEN THE CAT FREAKED, I REALISED I KNEW THE SOUND IN PARTICULAR AS THE PUKE POOP URGE SOUND, ONE I AM VERY FAMILIAR WITH SO LOOKS LIKE MY TORTURERS ARE RUNNING THE WHOLE SOUND SPECTRUM AT ME TO CAUSE THE MOST DAMAGE AND HAVE CIRCLED BACK TO THAT ONE PARTICULAR SOUND AGAIN IN AN EFFORT TO MAKE ME SICK AGAIN.  THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE CAT THROWING UP SO MUCH TOO.   I AM DONE WRITING FOR THE ,MOMENT SO THE THREE PEOPLE WHO ARE CONSISTANTLY READING THIS WRITING, I HOPE ONE OF YOU WILL TAKE A MOMENT TO LEAVE A SINGLE COMMENT OF YOUR CHOICE, WHETHER YOU WANT TO CALL ME A NUT OR WHATEVER, JUST A SINGLE WORD WOULD BE APPRECIATED. WRITING DONE BY KARIN WRAPE 10-1-17 JUST OVER FOUR YEARS I HAVE BEEN DOCUMENTING THIS SOUND INVADING MY LIFE.

 

AFTER WRITING THE LAST ARTICLE, I MYSELF WENT TO YOUTUBE.COM AND LOOKED UP ELECRONIC WEAPONS AND WATCHED THE DISCREET SOLUTIONS  IDEO AND GOT THE NAME OF THE DEVICE THEY FOUND IN  WOMANS HOME, IT IS CALLED THE MIND MOLESTER 2.  I THEN GOOGLED THAT AND FOUND THEY HAVE CREATED MORE DEVICES OF THIS NATURE…SOMETHING VERY EASY TO HIDE IN HOME OR VEHICLE BUT NOT TO GO UNNOTICED AS THE SOUND EMITTED IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL, IF I COULD DO APHYSICAL  SEARCH OF  DADS CAR BEHIND THE REAR PASSENGER SEAT I AM SURE I WOULD FIND SOMETHING OF THIS NATURE.   MY UNCLE BILL JUST GOT A VERY NICE ELECTRONICE FIELD DETECTOR I THINK…HE GOT A REAL NICE DEVICE TO HELP HIM WITH HISMELECTRIC PROBLEMS AT HOME, I WONDER IF HIS NEW TOY WOULD BE ABLE TO DETECT SOMETHING LIKE THIS MIND MOLESTER DEVICE?  OUR POOR  CAT IS YOWLING WHEN THIS NOISE GETS BAD, LIKE IT IS NOW AND IS LITERALLY ONCESSIVELY REMOVING ALL HIS HAIR OR IT IS LIKE MINE, FALLING OUT.  THE CAT NOW HAS A NUMBER OF BALD AREAS ON IT AND WILL NOT STOP CONSTANT LICKING OF HIS FURR, LOTS MORE THAN A CAT WOULD NORMALLY LICK ITSELF, WHEN THE CAT SLEPT WITH ME, IT WAS AT IT THE WHOLE NIGHT.  I WONDER IF MY COUSINS HUSBAND IS SMART ENOUGH TO USE SOME KIND OF ELECTRONIC FIELD METER TO HELP ME PIN POINT THE LOCATION OF WHATEVER IS IN THE CAR, AT LEAST AS I CAN CLEARLY HEAR THE SOUND  OMING FROM BEHIND THE REAR PASSENGER SEAT WHEN IN IT AND THE SOUND LOOPS TO 100 DECIBELS WHEN THE CAR IS NOT RUNNING.   THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANY KIND OFSOUND IN THE CAR, MUCH LESS SOMETHING THAT HITS 100 decibels.

 

I AM SITTING IN THIS GOD AWFUL NOISE LISTENING TO THE CAT YOWL WITH ITS EARS BACK.  I AM DEALING WITH SOME PRETTY DEPRESSING STUFF MYSELF AND FEEL LIKE YOWLING MYSELF AS I REALIZE I AM FIXING TO BE THE THIRD WOMAN WHO DIES IN THIS TRAILER.   I FINALLY GOT A DOCTOR TO TAKE ME ON AS A PATIENT AND GOT MY BLOODWORK BACK AND WAS SHOCKED BY THE RESULTS AS THEY SHOWED I HAD REVERSED THE HEP C1 AND THE HEP B TO SHOWING AS NEGATIVE!  I HAD HEARD OF SOMEONE I KNEW IN MY PAST DOING THIS BUT SHE DID NOT HAVE HEP C 1 OR HAVE IT FOR AS MANY YEARS AS I HAVE BUT SHE DID CLAIM TO HAVE GOTTEN RID OF HEP C.  I THINK I HAVE DONE WHAT MY FORMER FRIEND MY PET SNAKE GINA FREIMANTIS DID…I NOW HAVE NO ACTIVE HEPATITIS IN MY BLOODWORK AT ALL!!!  BUT THERE WERE SOME OTHER THINGS THAT HAVE DEVELOPED SINCE COMING TO TEXAS AND I AM SURE THEY DIRECTLY RELATE TO EXTREMELY HIGH CHOLESTEROL LEVELS I DID NOT HAVE BEFORE COMING HERE.  MY DOC EVEN AGREED THAT THIS IS SOMETHING NEW, A LDL OF 320, THAT IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL MY DOCTOR HAD EVER SEEN, HE TOLD ME AND PUT ME ON A STATIN DRUG.    I HAVE NEVER HAD HIGH CHOLESTEROL LEVELS SO SINCE THE NOISE I AM BEING ASSAULTED WITH IS THE ONLY THING THAT IS INCREASING IN MY LIFE THE HIGH CHOLESTEROL LEVELS MUST BE DIRECTLY RELATED TO ME BEING STUCK IN THIS TRAILER WITH THE SOUND ON A CONSTANT BASIS  AND MY CORTISOL LEVELS WHICH REGULATE ADRENAL FUNCTION ARE BEING NEGATIVELY AFFECTED BECAUSE OF THIS AND THE STRESS OF ALL THISIS CAUSING DEPRESSION I FELT COMING THE OTHER DAY WHEN THE SOUND INCREASED TO THE POINT OF BEING EXTREMELY PAINFUL.                   THE OTHER NIGHT I HEARD THE SOUND TURN INTO A TICKING SO FAST AND VIOLENT I COULD NOT HAVE COUNTED THE TICS OCCURING IN A SINGLE MINUTE IF I WANTED TO THEY WERE SO FAST, AND I FELT THIS HORROR CONSUME ME AS I REALIZED I WAS GOING TO DIE FROM BEING HERE AND A LOT FASTER THAT I EARLIER THOUGHT AS MY WEIGHT HAS TAKEN AN ALARMING TURN OF MEGAINING FIVE POUNDS IN HOURS AND THIS HAPPENNING OVER AND OVER, THESE EXTREME INCREASES, AND ALL ON DAYS WHEN I HAVE NOTED THE TAPPING  SOUND BEING ‘VIOLENT’…  I AM DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO STOP THIS EXTREME  WEIGHT GAIN FROM OCCURRING BUT I CANNOT KEEP UP WITH IT ON MY TREADMILL AS I AM UP TO THREE MILES A DAY AND STILL I AM INCREASING MY WEIGHT BY SOMETIMES FIVE POUNDS BETWEEN WAKING AND NOON.  I HAVE QUIT DRINKING FLUIDS NOW IN AN EFFORT TO STOP THIS WATER WEIGHT BUT ANYONE LOOKING AT ME COULD SEE I AM SWELLING UP IN MY MIDSECTION BAD ON THE RIGHT SIDE.  MY FACE AND ARMS ARE NOT COLLECTING WATER, MY HANDS ARE COMPLETELY DRAINED BUT MY FEET ARE KILLING ME AND POUNDING LIKE MY HEARTBEAT IS IN THEM.  I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THIS WATER AROUND MY LUNGS MUCH LONGER BUT AT LEAST I HAVE AN IDEA WHY I FEEL LIKE I AM DYING AND GETTING DEPRESSED. IT IS THE SOUND.  AND ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS IS TINNITUS SHOULD KNOW THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN HEAR THIS NOISE, INCLUDING POLICE OFFICERS BACK WHEN I WAS IN SUMMIT COUNTY, COLORADO, AND THEY HEARD THE SOUND COMING OUT OF MY RV WHILE THEY WERE STANDING NEXT TO IT.  IF OTHER PEOPLE HEAR IT, IT CANNOT BE TINNITUS.  THE CAT CONFIRMS WHAT I HEAR, IT WILL NOT GO IN THE CORNER WHERE MY BED IS AND IF FORCED TO COME SIT WITH ME, ITS EARS ARE STRAIGHT BACK IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP THE SOUND OUT OF ITS HEAD.   THE CATS BODY LANGUAGE AGAIN IS VERY CLEARLY SAYING WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL ALONG-THE AUDIO AND VIDEO BUSINESS I CAUGHT HACKING MY PCS IS STILL AT ME AND HAVE PLACED SOME KIND OF DEVICE UNDER THIS TRAILER THAT IS CAUSING A NOISE THAT EXCEEDS ONE HUNDRED DECIBELS OR MORE AT TIMES.  LOUD SOUNDS IN EXCESS OF 50 DECIBELS HAVE VERY NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON METABOLISM  SO THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE LETHARGY I AM DEALING WITH AS THE SOUND GETS WORSE AND MY SLEEP IS DIRECTLY EFFECTED AS THE FRIGGIN SOUND KEEPS ME AWAKE OR WAKES ME UP VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING, WAY BEFORE THE CAT IS UP AND DEMANDING FOOD.  THE EXTREMELY HIGH LDL LEVELS THEMSELVES CAUSE A NUMBER OF NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS AS WELL…I SWEAR I COULD FEEL THE DEPRESSION BUILDING UP THE OTHER DAY AS I SAT IN THE TICKING SOUND TO THE POINT I WAS IN A STATE OF DESEPAIR  WHEN I GOT HIT WITH THE MIGRAINE THE OTHER DAY.  IT LASTED TWO DAYS AND I AM JUST NOW ABLE TO SIT UPRIGHT, THE DEPRESSION AND PAIN FROM THE SWOLLEN SIDE LEFT ME JUST LAYING ON THE FLOOR LIKE A DEAD THING AND EVEN DAD BITCHING AT ME FOR ANY NIT PICKING THING DID NOT BREAK THROUGH THE DEPRESSION AND PAIN THAT LEFT ME HIDING FROM LIGHT UNDER A MAKESHIFT BLANKET AND CUSHION CAVE, I JUST LAY ON THE NOT AS SWOLLEN SIDE BELLY UP SMELLING AMMONIA COMING FROM MY SKIN AND THINKING ABOUT BEING THE THIRD WOMAN WHO WAS GOING TO DIE IN THIS TRAILER…I REALLY HAVE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO ARREST FUTHER DAMAGESBY THE SUDDEN WEIGHT GAINS THAT AT TIMES AREOVER FIVE POUNDS IN A SINGLE DAY BUT MY DOCTOR AGREES THAT I SIMPLY CANNOT KEEP UP WITH THIS MUCH FLUID RETENTION TROTTING ON A TREADMILL, MY THYROID LEVELS WERE EXTREMELY LOW  BUT I ALREADY KNEW THAT.   I JUST WONDER HOW MUCH WEIGHT I AM GOING TO GAIN LAYING HERE IN THIS CONSTANT PAINFUL NOISE.   LIVING HERE IS DEFINITELY KILLING ME AND HAVING VERY NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON MY BODY…AND NO ONEBELIEVES THIS IS HAPPENNING AS THEY DO NOT HEAR IT. I HOWEVER HAVE HEARD THE SOUND CHANGE AND EVEN STOP AT TIMES.  I KEEP LOGS OF HOW THIS SOUND IS DAILY SO I KNOW FOR A FACT WHEN IT RAMPS UP, LIKE IT IS DOING RIGHT NOW AS I SIT HERE TYPING, I GET PAIN AND FEEL SWOLLEN AROUND MY CHEST WORSE THAN USUAL.  YOUEOPLE SHOULD BE TRYING TO FIND WAYS TO HELP ME PROVE THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY VICINITY CAUSING THIS SOUND THAT IS COMING DIRECTLY FROM THE KITCHEN AREAOF MY DADS HOME AND FROM THE REAR PASSENGER SIDE OF HIS CAR WHEN I AM IN IT.   I WIULD LOVE FOR YOU ALL TO WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO MADE BY DISCREETDEVICES.COM THAT I SAW ON YOUTUBE IN WHICH THEY SHOW A SMALL DEVICE THAT PRODUCES EXACTLY THE NOISE I AM BEING ASSAULTED WITH.  I MERELY TYPED ELECTRONIC WEAPONS INTO THE SEARCH BOX AND HEARD THE EXACT SOUND I AM BEING TORTURED WITH ON THIER VIDEO.  NOW I AM FINDING OUT OTHER WAYS TO DETECT THE ELECTRONIC NOISE WITH AN AM RADIO BUT WHAT REALLY NEEDS DONE IS GET AN ELECTRONIC FIELD DETECTOR AND DO A PHYSICAL SEARCH AROUND THE AREA OF THE KITCHEN UNDER THIS TRAILER  AND IN THE REAR PASSENGER AREA OF THE CAR TO FIND WHAT HAS BEEN PLACED IN THESE AREAS  PRODUCING THE 100 DECIBELS OF NOISE.  IF I FELT JUST A BIT BETTER I WOULD DO THESE THINGS BUT I AM DEALING NOT ONLY WITH DEPRESSION, SWELLING AND NO SLEEP, I CANNOT GET UNDER THE TRAILER MYSELF.  SO ANYONE IN MY FAMILY WHO MAY HAVE AN ELECTRONIC FIELD DETECTOR, PLEASE BRING IT OVER SO I CAN DO A SWEEP. BEFORE I AM UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL TO SAVE MYSELF.

 

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